let us deal in realities

I deal in realities, when it comes to ADHD. What I mean by that….

The fantasy is that one day you're going to have enough time to finally clean up your house and get organized.

The reality is that there will never be a good time, never be enough time, and that organization is an ongoing endeavor, not a one-time task. And it's an endeavor you need help with.

The fantasy is that if you send out an email announcement to your team that you're not going to be checking email on the weekends, nobody will bother you on the weekends.

The reality is that you're going to have to enforce that boundary, often more than once, often on an individual basis, before people get it. You may need support with this, esp if you're an ADHD people pleaser.

The fantasy is that you'll all of a sudden have total clarity in that relationship with that dude. He'll come through, or you'll get over it.

The reality is that feelings and relationships often take a long time time detangle. ESPECIALLY for ADHDers, with our powerful big emotions. If you're not ready to move on, you need to plan for that reality, not the fantasy that everything is clear.

The fantasy is that you'll cook savory, nutritious meals 6 nights a week for your family.

The reality is that you're freaking exhausted every night by 5:30 and cooking meals is not happening. You need help!

The fantasy is that ADHD isn't actually making that big an impact on your life. You're JUST AROUND THE CORNER from being able to manage it.

The reality is that ADHD permeates every aspect of who you are and how you do things. It's a neurotype! A style of brain function! And chances are very good, you need to tend it with a great deal more care and attention.

I love fantasizing as a technique for helping you divine your desires.

I DO NOT recommend fantasizing when it gets in the way of you reckoning with the reality of your current situation.

Things get better when you start dealing in realities.

Warmly,
Emma

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