don’t fix your sensitivity

There's a phase many ADHD women go through when they first find out about RSD.
A phase I hope you will skip! 

(If you don’t already know, RSD stands for Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. It’s a phrase researchers use to describe a particular ADHD pattern of “extreme” emotional sensitivity to rejection.)

In this phase, an ADHD woman’s thinking goes like this:

“Oh my god—Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria! 

That’s what I’ve had all this time!
All this time that I thought I was too sensitive,
and all this time other people were telling me
I was too sensitive, 

They were right! And I was right!
I AM too sensitive!”

There’s an aspect of this that feels empowering, at first.

There’s a sense of “oh yeah, THAT’S what’s been going on!” At least you have a NAME now, a name for what’s been going on inside your head all your life.

But all too many ADHD women get STUCK in this phase, in my experience. 

They learn about RSD…

They have the a-ha moment…

And then they busily get right back to:

  • invalidating their feelings,
  • trying to force themselves to feel differently, and
  • apologizing to others for their sensitivity. 

Here's how I encourage you to think about your RSD instead.

Instead of thinking:

“Oh my god, I AM too sensitive. All my life I’ve been too sensitive! Everyone’s been right about me! I better fix my RSD.”

Think: 

“I’m a person of big feelings and tender vulnerabilities.
And I need to treat myself with extra tender loving care because of that.
And I need to surround myself with others who treat me with tender loving care.”

“I need to surround myself with people who accept vulnerability as a normal part of the human experience. People who know that vulnerability, hurt feelings, and conflict around hurt feelings are normal parts of human relationships.”

“And if I don’t know how to cherish my vulnerability, I need to learn.
And if I don't know how to handle conflict in a skillful way, I need to learn.
And the people in my life who love me may also need to learn these skills.
We all may need to learn together.”

Beloved friend, you don't need to fix the fact that you're sensitive. 

You need to evolve your ability to live as a sensitive person in this world.
And evolve your ability, as a sensitive person in this world, to be in relationship with others.

Your sensitivity is a gift.
And don’t you ever forget it. 

Part of my job, as a coach for ADHD women, is to help you learn how to cherish your sensitivity. And navigate your relationships with less hidden pain, more courageous candor. 

When you’re ready for coaching, I’m here, babe. 

Take the next step by booking a Discovery Call with me right here.

Warmly,
Emma

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