Okay, first thing to know is that from your brain’s perspective, there’s a difference between a routine and a habit.
Habits live deep in the brain, in a group of structures called the basal ganglia.
Once something becomes a habit, your basal ganglia can run it on autopilot without needing much thought. Think about things you do automatically, like reaching for your phone when you have a free second, or putting on socks before shoes.
(I’m not gonna say “brushing your teeth” or “fastening your seatbelt” because a lot of ADHDers do NOT actually find those actions automatic.)
Once a habit is locked in, your brain can just fire it up without burning too much energy on decision-making.
Routines, though, are more intentional—they live in the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex is the brain's "planner," handling tasks like planning, organizing and decision-making.
You can shift and change routines based on what’s going on in your life or what goals you’re focusing on. Whereas habits are harder to shift because they are largely subconscious.
The beauty is, routines can actually turn into habits. When you repeat a routine enough, it eventually slides over into the basal ganglia’s territory and becomes more automatic.
So, let’s say you’re working on a morning breakfast routine. At first, it takes a fair amount of planning—you’re gonna have to think about how to get it up and running, and you’re going to have to make a conscious choice to START the routine each day.
But over time, it can turn into a habit, running mostly on autopilot. Which saves your precious brain power for the things that really matter!
Now, this whole scenario gets a bit tricky for ADHD brains.
Why? Because the basal ganglia—the part of the brain that makes actions automatic—needs lots of consistent repetition to lock things in.
And guess what? Consistency is hard for us! Executive functions like planning, starting, sticking with, and finishing tasks are way more of a mental workout for us.
Since ADHD can make sticking with routines tricky, it takes extra time and effort to get habits to really "click."
So here’s the big takeaway: even though consistency is hard for us, it ABSOLUTELY is worth it for ADHD women to work on creating and practicing routines.
There are nine routines in particular that I think you should consider establishing for yourself:
- Wake up routine: This one’s obvious I think.
- Bedtime routine: Not just going to bed, but getting ready to go to bed
- Starting work routine: How do you transition into tasks, or into work mode?
- Transitioning out of work routine: How do you transition out of tasks, or out of work mode?
- Food routine: Getting yourself fed regularly.
- Weekly planning routine: A regular rhythm of looking ahead
- Pleasure routine: A rhythm of joyful activities
- Relationships routine: A rhythm of checking in with people who are important to you.
- Money routine: A rhythm of stewarding your money.
Do you already have some of these? Which ones? And which ones give you trouble?
One-on-one ADHD coaching is a great way to build routines. Because it’s not so easy for ADHD brains! The same thing that makes it hard for us to PERSIST with a routine makes it hard for us to CREATE a routine.
If you’re considering starting coaching with me in Q1 2025, you need to get on my waitlist now. I’ll be opening 1-1 enrollment for TWO WEEKS ONLY in January. And the people on my waitlist are the ones who are going to get the most reminders about it!
Get on that waitlist right here.
Big Hug,
Emma