Over the long weekend, I hope you kicked back, filled with a sense of quiet accomplishment about the work that you did the week before, and enjoyed some well-deserved rest and recreation.
…but I bet you didn’t!
As an ADHD woman myself, I know it’s way more likely that you spent the weekend:
- Running around like a crazy person, trying to squeeze in too much.
- "Doing nothing" and feeling totally guilty about it
- Feeling totally paralyzed by a creeping inexplicable dread.
- Completely collapsed, utterly exhausted from overdoing.
ADHD women tend to have a very hard time resting.
Instead of thinking:
"Ah, now I am resting. All humans need rest, and I am human. I am worthy of rest. I’m going to take my rest and enjoy it."
…we think things like:
"What a lazy piece of sh!t I am. I didn’t do enough last week, last month, or my entire life, and now I’m doing nothing again. My life is going nowhere, I’m letting everyone down, and I have no-one to blame but myself."
When we ARE able to silence this nasty inner voice, we tend to practice what I think of as "defensive resting."
Defensive resting can look like one of three things:
1. Resting prophylactically – to ward off an upcoming collapse.
2. Resting reactively – trying to "treat" a current collapse.
3. Resting resistantly – resting, but not actually enjoying it.
Now, get this:
Rest is something that ADHDers procrastinate about.
We don’t think we’re worthy of it,
we don’t know how to do it,
we don’t enjoy it.
So we put it off.
We don’t go to bed.
We don’t take that nap.
We don’t take vacation.
We don’t prioritize recreation. (Pleasurable, fun activities that make you feel reborn! That’s why it’s called “REcreation”—you are recreating yourself.)
Now, take a minute to imagine the following scenario:
Can you imagine what it would be like to trust yourself to do what needed to be done?
And then, having done it, to release completely into deliberate, pleasurable, joyful rest, trusting that when your rest is over, you will again be able to do what needs to be done?
As an ADHD coach for women, I don’t just help my clients stop procrastinating about homeworky-type stuff like work projects and household chores.
My clients stop procrastinating on taking care of themselves.
We set up flexible, supportive systems that engender self-care activities like:
- Moving.
- Feeding yourself.
- Cultivating meaningful relationships.
- Relaxing.
- Having fun.
- And yes, RESTING!
You ready to feel way better?
Rested, connected, relaxed, reborn?
It’s gonna take some work,
but you start by booking a Discovery Call with me.
I can’t wait to meet you!
Warmly,
Emma