Many years ago at a party,
I met a beautiful woman and her son.
She was a young single mom, and her child was radiant.
He was about four years old, had a gorgeous halo of hair and an infectious smile. He was whip-smart, and even at that age, he had CHARISMA.
She and I got to talking, and she told me about her experience of motherhood.
She said that she got pregnant by accident, but that she knew right away that she wanted to be a parent. She did a lot of reading and made a very clear birth plan.
And she was lucky—she had the exact birth experience she wanted. She was very proud of bringing her baby into the world on her terms, and according to her values.
Then we started talking about breastfeeding. Just like with the birth, she knew exactly how she wanted to do it, and how long she wanted to do it for.
“And did you?” I asked.
“No,” she said.
“I breastfed for long time and loved it. But after a while it really started to hurt!
“So I got a lactation consultant. And we tried a bunch of different things. None of them really worked, so I got another lactation consultant. Again, it didn’t solve the problem.
“I met with a third lactation consultant. This lady was different. Instead of offering me techniques, she asked me why it was important to me to continue to breastfeed.
“I told her that I knew there were a bunch of health benefits to continuing breastfeeding. And I also said that I wanted to teach my son that I would always be there for him.”
“So then the consultant said,
‘What are you teaching your son
about relationships
by continuing a practice
that is benefiting him but hurting you?’”
“I decided that wasn’t the lesson I wanted for him. I started weaning the next day.”
// This story has stuck with me for two decades. //
What are you teaching someone
when you maintain an arrangement
that works for them
and doesn’t work for you?
Really, think about it.
What are you teaching them about YOU?
What are you teaching them about THEMSELVES?
What are you teaching them about life on planet Earth?
What are you teaching them about the Universe?
~ ~ * ! * ~ ~
Did this story resonate with you? These are the types of issues I untangle with my clients on the regular.
Schedule a call with me and let’s talk about your situation.