O my Beloved Friend,
Control is utterly illusory,
in this wild, terrifying, astonishing life.
You do not control the government.
You do not control your children.
You do not control the weather.
You do not control your weight.
You do not control your health.
You do not control your desires.
You do not control the movement of the planets.
You do not control “your” money.
Okay?
I don’t care what corporation
or oppressive societal institution
has promised you that you can control these things.
(I’m looking at you, Weight Watchers)
YOU DON’T.
You don’t have control.
And you never will.
Does this terrify you?
It terrifies ME!
It can be so scary to acknowledge
how little control we have.
It takes great courage
to stand in the apocalyptic light
of this Great Truth.
Dear Reader, take heart.
Here’s what we DO have:
AGENCY.
As my coach often says,
/// We exist at choice. ///
As another, older, spiritual tradition puts it,
“You have the right to your actions,
not to your actions’ fruits.”
You have the right to your actions.
You get to CHOOSE,
what you say and do.
Not ALL the time,
because you are a human,
and sometimes you will say and do
thoughtless things.
But you get to choose
ENOUGH of the time
to make a REAL difference
in how you feel,
how you treat those you love,
how you care for yourself,
how you participate in politics,
how you live,
how you live MEANINGFULLY
in this exquisite, roiling world.
So yes, you have a right to your actions,
you exist at choice.
BUTTTT don’t get it twisted—
you DON’T have a right to your actions’ fruits.
// You don’t control outcomes! //
Beloved Friend,
come away from the fantasy
that this world exists for you to control.
Instead, dance toward the reality
that every moment of your blessed life
is an opportunity
to make choices,
to have experiences,
to be in a relationship,
to co-create with this Universe.
Is it scarier than control?
Yes.
But it is also more powerful,
more sustainable, and more pleasurable.
// Coaching is all about
increasing your agency. //