“I should write a post about ADHD masking,” I said to myself.
In case you don’t know, MASKING is the attempt to hide, suppress, and/or overcompensate for ADHD traits in order to appear neurotypical.
“What kinds of things do I hear from my ADHD clients about masking?” I put a pencil to my temple, connected it to my brain, and came up with the following list.
Being very successful in your career or business—while struggling in your personal life with energetic burnout, chronic health problems, and/or unsustainable stress levels.
Pretending you’re okay, even being the life of the party, when you’re actually in emotional distress.
Inability to recognize that you need help, much less ask for it.
Having a huge mess at home, in your car, and/or in your desk at work, but keeping public-facing spaces, and/or your personal appearance, tidy.
Staying at social events much longer than is comfortable, to be polite.
Being hyper-controlled in social or professional situations, monitoring your behavior, out of fear that you’ll say or do something others will regard as outlandish.
Working your ass off to figure out and follow unspoken expectations about how to look, talk, act.
Keeping your mouth shut out of fear of talking too much.
Having a sudden meltdown when the strain of masking becomes too much.
Sharing excitedly about your enthusiasms but then suddenly realizing it’s not socially acceptable to go on and on about any one topic and shutting up.
Hiding the amount of rest you need.
Pretending you need way less relational assurance than you actually do.
Downplaying sensory sensitivities.
I finished my list.
I put down my pen and read it over.
“Holy sh!t,” I thought. “I’ve experienced every single one.”
Dear Reader, does this speak to you?
If you’re like many of my clients, you’ve been masking for a looooong time. You’ve figured out that it’s unsustainable. But you’re not sure how to get this thing off, even in the privacy of your own home, your most personal relationships, and your own mind.
Are you ready for something different?
If you wanna stop taking your cues about how you should live from other people.
If you wanna face what is chaotic in your life so that you can begin to shift it.
If you wanna figure out how you can be YOURSELF more often.
If you want to be AT LEAST as good at taking care of yourself as you are at showing up for others.
If you want your life to be built on a foundation of authentic self-love, self-respect, and self-trust.
COACHING CAN HELP.
Send me a message, hello@emmamagentacoaching.com and let’s talk about it.
Love,
Emma