Have you ever been in a situation
where you thought you were indispensable
and it turned out that
you totally f*cking weren’t?
{ curtain up }
A friend of mine, a former yoga teacher and studio owner,
taught a very successful class on Sunday mornings.
Her students adored her.
The class was packed, week after week, year after year.
Anytime she had a sub, her students would
bemoan her absence.
After several years, she started wanting to do
something else with her weekends.
But she squashed that feeling down,
because every time she contemplated
giving up the class, thoughts would intrude:
“I really care about those students.”
“I’ve been doing it for so long, they really depend on me.”
“What other teacher could I find to fill this spot?”
“If I step away from this, everyone will resent me.”
“If I stop teaching that class, my income will suffer.”
“It’s so hard to find a good teacher on Sundays.”
“I’m just going to have to keep doing it.”
After LITERALLY YEARS of this,
she reached a breaking point, found a replacement,
and quit the class.
She braced herself for a slew of emails—
she didn’t know if they would be very sad
at her departure, or resentful of her choice,
or critical of her replacement, or all of the above.
She FaceTimed me a couple of months after she dropped it.
“What ever happened to that class you dropped?” I asked.
(I was curious because I had my OWN Sunday classes I wanted to drop, but that’s another story.)
She said, “Emma. Oh my God. I dropped the class
and heard NOTHING. Wait—I got like 2 emails about it.”
“What were the emails about?” I asked.
“Were they checking on you? Complaining? Upset?”
“Um, NO,” she said. “They were, like, asking me about the brand of yoga pants I wear.”
{ end scene }
“I’m indispensable”
can really be a very limiting, ineffective thought.
Especially for women.
Your “I’m indispensable” thought might look like one of these:
“My team can’t handle this without a lot of guidance.”
“My kids hate having a babysitter.”
“If I quit this job, I let down my colleagues.”
“He doesn’t do the laundry the way I like it.”
“My clients count on my low prices.“
“I need to keep supporting my demanding friend.”
“I’m indispensable” feels good on one level.
You know, you feel needed and all.
But it’s a.) not true a lot of the time,
and b.) a total trap.
“I’m indispensable” immobilizes you
in a cycle of passive dissatisfaction,
that can easily curdle into despair.
This cycle drains
your will of its potency and
your life of its magic.
Where does “I’m indispensable” come up for you?
If you need help letting go of being “indispensable”, so that you can move on to bigger and better things, let’s talk!
Click here to book a call with me.