Beloved friend, don’t bother trying to talk yourself OUT of your feelings.
Don’t bother with:
“Oh that’s so unreasonable” OR“That’s not very nice of me” OR“I have no right to feel this way” OR“I should be more charitable” OR“Good girls don’t think that about theirhusbands/parents/bosses/co-workers/siblings/aunties/whatever”
Okay?
Don’t bother! It’s pointless.
Your feelings are GOD-GIVEN.Or if God isn’t your bag, feelings are EVOLUTIONARY TOOLS.
You are evolved to have feelings! Feelings aren’t obstacles to overcome,or something to get past,or something to tie up into alittle bundle and take out to the trash.
Feelings aren’t IN THE WAY,/// FEELINGS ARE THE WAY. ///Feelings are YOUR WAY throughwhatever frustrating, yucko situation you’re currently in.
Beloved friend, here’s what happens when you start feeling your feelings. They MOVE.
Just today, on the phone with a client,I invited her to do a fun little exercise called “Conscious Complaining.”
Conscious Complaining is just what it sounds like.
Before you get started with it, carefully select your audience. You could do it with a Life Coach (THAT’S ME)Or ask permission of a friendOr write it in a journalOr of course do it with a therapist.
(It doesn’t always work to consciously complain TO YOURSELF inside your head, because let’s face it, that’s pretty muchwhat you’ve already been doing–stomping along internally ranting.)
When you’ve got your audience,hit the GO button and let it out!Allow yourself to reel off all the stuff that’s pulsating through your brain, that you’re not saying.
All the resentments! All the jealousy! All the anger! All the “unattractive” feelings! Betrayal, lust, fury, disgust, outrage! Nothing is too petty! Nothing is too explosive!
Now, WHILE you are consciously complaining,your job is to stay present to your feelings. What are you FEELING as you bring this out?
I’ll tell you what happened with my client.She started out with resentment. (Common.)Then she cycled through irritation, anger, jealousy, betrayal, anxiety, bittersweet grief, and tender concern.
Did this solve her problem? NO.Did she feel better? Not exactly.Did she feel more clarity about the situation, and therefore more inclined to move forward toward her dreamswith confidence? YES.
I know, I know.
The whole world tells us that in order to make good decisions, you have to take emotion out of it.
Beloved Friend, like so many parts of our cultural inheritance, that’s an ineffective strategy. Human brains don’t toggle between emotions and reason.
And stuffing away your emotions robs you of the incredible resource that is your feelings.
The wheel of your life can’t turnif you don’t allow yourselfto LIVE IT.
To live what it is to be you. With all your messes,your sorrows, your fury, your glory.
/// Feeling your feelings is a key pathwayto prioritizing yourself and your dreams. ///
This is the kind of work we do together in Radical Realignment, my 9-month coaching package. In it, you’ll get:
A breakthrough in your pattern of not prioritizing yourself, so that you can move forward confidently in the direction of your dreams 
Deep knowing that you, as you are, are already worthy, so you can stop trying to justify yourself and create a life that reflects your most deeply held values 
A better relationship with your inner voice, so that you can stop the endless mental chatter telling you that you suck, and be at peace with yourself
Better boundaries, so that you can live a life that is meaningful on your terms, free of the expectations put on you by your culture, your parents, your boss, or society at large
Clarity about what YOU actually want, so that you’re living a life that is tailor-made to your preferences, not an empty unsatisfying version of somebody else’s life
A stronger practice of self-care so that you can be present in the moment with the ones you love for years to come
If you’re ready to create a life you can delight in and be proud of, let’s talk. Book a Free Discovery Call with me and tell me all about it!
(h/t to my client Tara Lemerise for my fabulous “f*$ck this” needlepoint 
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