To look
or speak
or think
or act
differently from the norm
is often painful.
Especially when we’re young.
When we are children, young adults, we want to fit in.
No matter how old we are, we want to belong.
We want to feel that we belong on this planet,
with these people,
in these circumstances,
in this body.
When you feel the pain of being different,
there are two ways to deal with that suffering.
One way is to try your best to fit in.
To be “normal”.
To conform.
That can alleviate the suffering for a while.
The other way is to say,
“I am not like that.”
“I do not look that way.”
“I don’t think that way.”
“I don’t talk like that.”
“I don’t act like that.”
“I’m not like that. I am myself.”
And then lean into your difference.
This second path alleviates the pain in two ways:
- Committing to yourself, doubling down on yourself, choosing your weird-ass self, is a path to self-love. Which is–believe me when I say this–one of the most valuable things in the universe.
- When you lean into who you are, into what makes you different, other people who ARE like you can recognize you. “Oh—she’s weird like me!”
Then you get a community.
Then you belong.
If you decide to love your body as it is RIGHT NOW, you are decidedly outside the norm.
If you decide
that you’re done with dieting,
that you’re not interested in commenting on others’ bodies,
that you’re not interested in having what researchers call “fat talk,”
you might feel lonely for a while.
Because talk about diet, weight, fat, juicing, detoxes, blah blah—
all the ways, covert and explicit, that we denigrate ourselves—
…is like a universal language for women.
// An Esperanto of self-hate. //
It might feel lonely for a while,
but I invite you to lean into loving yourself.
The rest of us weirdos are out here waiting for you.
———–
If you’re ready to lean into a self-care that doesn’t include dieting, but is truly based in self-love, I’d love to support you. Click here to get started with coaching with me.