I’m not okay.
I’m fine. But I’m not okay.
I had a car accident three weeks ago.
Somebody ran a stop sign and
hit my car hard enough to total it.
I was alone in the car.
I was VERY shaken.
But I sustained only a single scratch,
on my knee where it hit the steering column.
The part that hurt was this:
It was a crowded intersection,
and after the accident, people
just kept streaming around our two cars.
Nobody asked if I was okay.
As far as I know, nobody stopped.
Finally, *I* got out of my car
to check on the other driver,
and *I* called the cops.
Meanwhile, both my elderly parents
have health problems.
Seeing them struggle brings up
alllll kinds of ish from my childhood.
I live far away from them, so while
I can spend a few weeks at a time with them,
I can’t help as much as I want.
It breaks my heart.
Thank God, I have help with all these emotions.
I have help, I have help, I have help.
I have a doting husband, loving family,
dear friends who check on me,
…and a coach.
What I’m working on with my coach
is allowing myself to say,
“I’m not okay.”
Finally saying “I’m not okay,”
then allowed me to say,
“I need a new therapist.”
So I’ll have help from that direction as well.
See, my whole schtick tends to be
holding the center and saying I’m fine.
There’s power in that role,
which is why I like it.
But at this point in my life,
it’s not sustainable.
My coach always asks me,
“What issues do your clients need to address?
Chances are, you have those issues too.
If you have those issues,
you need to model a better way for them.
The deal is, you go first.”
From the bottom of my heart, I want better!
For myself and for you.
I want my clients to actively seek help,
not just when they need it
not just when it feels justified
not when they are desperate.
I want them to be
CONSTANTLY SCANNING THEIR ENVIRONMENTS
for ways they could be supported.
So I want that for me, too.
I need help to get through what I’m going through.
I am worthy of exquisite support.
I need other people.
We all do.
Turns out, there’s way more power
in saying “I need help”
than pretending to be fine.
So I am learning to do that for myself, first.
It’s not easy.
But I’m learning.
Are you like me?
Do you pretend to be okay when you’re not?
Get on a Discovery Call with me,
and let’s talk about it!
I happen to have some expertise in the area.