ADHD women need well-diversified relationship portfolios.
Does that sound like horrible capitalist word salad? It kinda does, so let me use a better analogy:
ADHD women need a rich, diverse ecosystem of relationships.
Like a healthy forest.
In a healthy forest, there’s more than just a couple of towering trees. Those big trees are essential—they anchor the ecosystem and provide shelter—but a forest thrives because of its diversity.
Shrubs, wildflowers, and ground cover protect the soil. Smaller trees and saplings step up when a giant falls. Underground, fungi form hidden networks that connect the entire ecosystem, sharing resources and keeping it resilient.
Similarly, ADHD women need more than one or two “big trees” of close relationships to thrive emotionally.
Why?
ADHD women feel deeply, and rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) can make normal relationship ups and downs feel like a rollercoaster.
It is NORMAL for relationships to ebb and flow, to come into being and fall apart, to move in seasons of growth and decay. It’s normal to feel lonely sometimes, and overwhelmed by peopleing at other times.
While ADHD emotional sensitivity is a gift—it allows us to connect profoundly and love fiercely— it can also leave us vulnerable when relationships shift or fall apart.
The more we nurture a diversity of relationships, the stronger our emotional ecosystem becomes.
A wider web of connections—close friends, family, acquaintances, and even casual “circumstantial” friendships—can catch us when one relationship falters.
No doubt this is a balancing act for us as ADHD women, because TOO MANY relationships can also be problematic! Keeping track of a million different connections is exhausting, and when none of those relationships have the opportunity to deepen, we can still feel lonely.
So here’s what I want you to know:
Relationships are something you can strategize about.
You can dream about what kinds of relationships you’d like to have.
You can think about the specific features of those relationships.
You can identify how you’d like to be treated in relationship.
You can consider how you’d like to show up, in a healthy relationship.
And you can practice the SKILL of being in healthy relationships.
Like the skills of friendship, for example, might include learning to follow up after a coffee date, showing up persistently, reconnecting when you’ve fallen off, finding the right balance between vulnerability and boundaries…these are all skills you can strengthen.
Ecosystems require care and tending. And so does your web of relationships!
With time and intention, you can grow a network that not only supports you but allows you to thrive, no matter how the seasons of your life change.
Need support on all this? Many ADHD women do. And it’s one of my favorite things to help my clients with!
If you’d like 2025 to be the year you finally feel more secure, connected, and present in your ADHD relationships…
…you need to be on my waitlist for one to one coaching in 2025.
Enrollment opens on January 21, and people on my waitlist will get first dibs on my limited roster, plus special discounts and bonuses I won’t be offering anywhere else.
I can’t wait to support you.
Big Hug,Emma