Today I wanna share my most satisfying accomplishment, as an ADHD woman. It’s a bit of a story—hoping you’ll get comfy and stick with me.
If you've followed my writing for a while, you know that I had awful struggles with infertility for like, a decade.
I started my life with a lot of good feelings about doctors and hospitals. My mom was a physician and I loved coming with her to the hospital. I would sit in the doctor's lounge and watch MTV (we didn't have cable at home). I was extremely proud of my mom's profession. I still am!
But by the time I finished fertility treatment, I’d had a bunch of really traumatizing experiences in medical settings.
Some of them were nobody's fault. Like the scariest one—I went in for what I thought was a routine pregnancy sonogram and found out that the pregnancy was ectopic AND I was probably going to have to have a portion of my uterus cut away. The radiologist came RUNNING into the room, visibly sweating.
Some of them were absolutely somebody's fault. Like the OB/GYN who asked me a bunch of sneering questions about my desire to homebirth and then said, mid-sonogram, "Whelp, you're not getting that homebirth anyway. There's no baby in there."
AWFUL!
So I lived with that horrible trauma for several years, during which time I didn't take very good care of my health. I didn't get regular doctor's appointments. I was too angry and too scared.
AND, this is important:
Because I was so angry and scared, my ADHD was EXTREMELY CHALLENGING around any task related to my health.
I couldn't find a good doctor.
I couldn't bring myself to make an appointment.
I couldn't bring myself to follow through on follow-ups.
I never actually used any of the referrals I got.
I couldn't deal with my health insurance.
I didn't see a dentist.
I'm sure there's stuff I've forgotten, but you get the idea.
When I finally got an ADHD coach, the first thing I wanted to work on with her was doctor's appointments.
She helped me:
- make a list of all the types of doctors I needed to see.
- devise a strategy for eliciting recommendations for those specialties
- devise a strategy for calling the doctors.
- followed up with me to make sure I did it
- reminded me over and over to stop judging myself
- kept me on track when I had a bad experience and needed to start over
With my ADHD coach's help, I found a wonderful doctor who I love.
But the most important thing she showed me was this:
With strategy and support, I ABSOLUTELY could face some of my greatest fears and take meaningful action.
I'm thinking about this because I recently had my physical. I was up to date on all my other appointments. And when I looked back at my records in the patient portal, I saw that I have been receiving regular medical care consistently for FOUR YEARS.
I am SO INSANELY PROUD of this!
With these actions, I SHOW myself that I believe I am precious.
Every time I go to the doctor, even if I get a dud, I am showing myself how much I matter.
And that is the most satisfying transformation I've experienced in my ADHD journey.
Is there a transformation you’re longing for, as an ADHD woman?
I’d love to hear about it! Drop me a line here. I read every email!
Warmly,
Emma
PS. Can I add one more NSFW thing? Given all the absolutely horrible things that happened to my reproductive system in my life, you'd think I'd never want to have seccs again. But I have a bangin' seccs life and that's also amazing. 😉