You’re at a meeting.
You present an idea.
Nobody notices.
Five minutes later,
“Brad” offers the same idea
with slightly different wording.
Everyone is wowed.
Inside you are so freaking irritated.
Your workplace is supposed to be progressive,
that’s part of why you took this job.
But this kind of bullsh!t is always happening.
Normally you roll your eyes internally
and say nothing. This time,
you CANNOT help yourself.
“Yeah, that’s a great idea Brad,” you snap.
“And it was a great idea
when I suggested it five minutes ago.
And it was a great idea when my team
did a presentation about it last spring.”
The room goes quiet.
After an extremely awkward pause,
your coworkers slowly go back to the discussion.
Your face is hot.
Your armpits are sweaty.
You wait what seems like a decent interval
and then go to the restroom.
All the way down the hall,
you’re berating yourself.
“Why did I do that?
Why did I do it THAT WAY?
It’s not like I’m in the wrong.
I need to stand up for myself.
But that felt terrible!
But what else could I have done?”
And on and on, all through the rest of the day.
Your punishing inner voice doesn’t give it a rest
till you’re in front of the TV with a glass of wine
at like 9:00 that night.
My beloved Friend,
First, let’s acknowledge:
This kind of thing is indeed bullshit.
We live in a whyte supremacist
heteronormative ableist patriarchy,
and people with marginalized identities
are constantly exposed to this.
Next, let’s talk about a specific part of the story.
The part where your punishing inner voice
berates you for saying what you said.
When that punishing inner voice gets started,
you can’t do anything right.
Have you noticed that?
That voice will say, speaking up is wrong.
But being silent IS ALSO WRONG.
No matter what you do, YOU’RE WRONG.
Know that this pattern of berating ourselves
is JUST AS MUCH a part of patriarchy
as the original incident in the meeting.
Would you like to get that sh!tty voice
out of your head?
Yeah, I thought so.
/// Coaching helps. ///
No, coaching will not eradicate
the enormous systems of oppression
that insidiously permeate pretty much
every part of American life.
But coaching can give you tools
to help you begin to push back
against those punishing thoughts.
Because there are many battlegrounds
in American life.
And one of the most important–
perhaps THE most important–
is between your ears.
Radical Realignment, my nine-month private coaching package,
is your ticket out of “I’M WRONG WRONG WRONG.”
In Radical Realignment, you’ll learn how to:
🤺 Handle that punishing inner voice
😘 Talk to yourself in a way that elevates your confidence and self-trust
💃 Free yourself from shame
🦖 Firm up your boundaries
🦋 Live in the now, instead of being haunted by future worries or past “mistakes”
🦄 Re-orient your life toward what really matters to you
If you’re ready to start living from self-love, let’s talk.
Book a Free Discovery Call with me and tell me all about it!