I am currently knee-deep in the passenger seat of a Chappell Roan obsession.
I love listening to “Pink Pony Club“, “Good Luck Babe” and “Red Wine Supernova” while I run.
I love Chappell’s drag queen style, her huge hair, her wild outfits, the purposeful lipstick on her teeth.
I love that “Feminomenon”, a song she says is about how “men can’t make me come” gets played at political rallies. (So subversive!)
And most of all, I love that Chappell, a young woman from a very repressive evangelical upbringing, says:
❝‘Thank God I’m gay’ is a sentence I thought I’d never say, but it’s true.❞
Chappell’s embrace of her marginalized identity is a profound act of courage, faith, self-love, and self-determination. I am so proud of her!
I know that embracing a marginalized identity BUILDS POWER, politically and culturally. And it also builds PERSONAL POWER—agency in your own life.
When Chappell says “Thank God I’m gay,” she is claiming power for herself and for every other queer person.
And by empowering queer people, she claims power for everybody else with marginalized identities.
Which improves our entire culture! Moves us closer to being a society whose resources are directed toward supporting vulnerable people.
👀Lately in these Internet streets, I’ve seen a lot of people talking about how much they hate their ADHD. Comments like, “ADHD is awful” and “ADHD has ruined my life.” 👀
In some ways, I think this is a useful corrective to the whole “superpower“ idea.
The “ADHD is a superpower” narrative gained traction maybe a decade ago, when ADHD was regarded as a shameful character flaw that doomed your child to failure. It was intended to empower ADHD kids and parents, and highlight the often unacknowledged brilliance of ADHD brains.
BUT the whole "superpower" thing can be problematic. Because while ADHDers are brilliant, they also carry the heavy weight of an invisible disability.
A disability that:
- is incredibly under-diagnosed and under-medicated
- carries enormous societal stigma
- is poorly understood in most families
- comes with very serious co-occuring conditions
- is unsupported by educational institutions, professional mores, the healthcare profession, and our wider culture
I’m not surprised that the superhero narrative feels like sh!t to a lot of ADHDers.
When you’re struggling with chronic burnout, frequent work challenges, parenting overwhelm, plus a lifetime of feeling inept in school and your personal relationships…
It can feel cruel to have someone stand on the outskirts of your life and tell you how brilliant you are!
“What a superhero,” onlookers say, as you drown in two inches of water.
👉Here's the thing I want ADHD women to know: 👈
There is a middle ground between “superpower” and self-hatred.
You can reject the glib cartoon of “superhero”
AND love yourself, love your ADHD brain.
You can lean into the reality of your disability
AND rejoice in your utterly personal, specifically-ADHD radiance.
Beloved ADHD women—
Love yourselves.
Please love yourselves!
Yes, including your ADHD.
Self-love, including ADHD love, is a practice.
It is a skill!
A skill you can learn.
Several years ago, I set self-love as my personal North Star.
I learned to love myself,
- even though I struggled in school,
- even though I couldn’t birth children,
- even though I struggle with depression,
- even though I stutter,
- even though my energies are variable,
- even though my house is a mess,
- even though I have ADHD.
Today I am so proud that like Chappell, I can honestly say,
💥Thank God I'm ADHD! 💥
Beloved Friend, believe me when I say that self-love is the way.
You wanna get traction on your ADHD? You wanna be more successful in your life? You are WAY LESS LIKELY to get there by telling yourself you hate your brain.
When you're ready for ADHD coaching around this, book a consult with me right here.
I can’t wait to meet you!
Warmly,
Emma