Recently, I was preparing for an event.
I was VERY ANXIOUS about it for reasons which are private.
While I was getting ready, I found myself thinking a bunch of thoughts about why the event was going to go badly.
You know, the usual—
“Nobody likes me.”
“Everybody hates me.”
“I guess I’ll go eat worms.”
I noticed that the more I thought those thoughts,
the more keyed up and anxious I felt.
It was as if….
I was in a body of water, on waterskis.
And a boat (a shitty thought) had gone by, trailing a rope.
And I had picked up the rope, and was being dragged along in the wake of the shitty thought—
—going way too fast, getting a face full of unpleasant spray,
being buffeted around in the wake of the shitty thought.
And then, all at once, I said to myself,
“SELF!
Beloved self,
this boat is taking us straight to hell.
Can we let go of this rope?”
A pause, a little relief.
And then I thought,
“What other boats are around here?”
(What’s a better, more effective,
more life-affirming thought I can think?)
Soon enough, I conjured up a new boat.
A better boat.
One that was way more reflective of my true values.
One that was way more reflective of the reality of the situation.
One that was way more respectful of me and everyone else.
I picked up the rope.
Here, the metaphor kind of stops working.
Because what really happens in your brain is this:
The shitty thought and the better thought co-exist.
Both those sets of neurons are firing away.
However, the better thought is mitigating the anxiety
of the shitty thought.
The better thought creates
a crack in the door of your mind,
and a little light can get in.
So what happened for me was that
when I arrived at the event,
my mind was open to the possibility
that it would be perfectly lovely.
And you know what?
It was even better than perfectly lovely—
It was wonderful.
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How do you learn to drop the rope and conjure a different boat? COACHING. Schedule a call with me and let’s talk about your situation. 