We often deal with painful thoughts as if they’re smelly gym shorts.
Imagine that your teenager, Jesse, comes home with a smelly pair of gym shorts. They smell so bad that Jesse wraps them up in a less-smelly gym shirt and stuffs them underneath a bunch of other clothes at the bottom of the hamper.
But the thing is, the other clothes that are wrapped around the shorts actually make it smell WORSE–the stink just multiplies in the bottom of the hamper.
The stink is SO POWERFUL that it permeates every other garment in the hamper, and even moves out to permeate Jesse’s whole bedroom. Jesse’s noseblind to it, and doesn’t notice. The smell even moves out into the hallway. You notice it as you pass by, open the door, and recoil in horror.
You make it clear to Jesse that this situation is untenable. Jesse does their laundry, the shorts are washed, hung out to dry, folded and put away in a drawer. The end.
Now, I’ll explain what that has to do with your thinking.
Like EVERY OTHER HUMAN on PLANET EARTH from THE BEGINNING OF TIME, you have painful thoughts.
About yourself, about others, about the world, about the nature of existence, about MANY THINGS. Some of these thoughts are memories about the past. Some of them are anxieties about the future. Some of the most painful are your beliefs about yourself.
These thoughts hurt, right? (These shorts stink)
So you bundle them up and shove them down.
But that actually makes them WORSE.
They never see the light of day.
They never get aired out.
They fester.
Paradoxically, you mostly forget they’re there. You’re noseblind to them.
Meanwhile, they are SO POWERFUL that even though you’re not consciously aware of them, the energy of those thoughts (smell of those shorts) is permeating EVERY PART OF YOUR LIFE.
Now, here’s how I coach.
I’m not interested in having you CONTROL your thoughts so that they are not painful. (No amount of affirmations/febreze sprayed on these thoughts/shorts will remove the smell.)
I’m not interested in having your REPLACE your painful thoughts. (Why throw out the shorts? You’ve got gym class every week! You can’t eradicate painful thoughts any more than an exasperating gym requirement.)
And obviously, your AVOIDANCE technique has some serious drawbacks. (Your whole house smells, it’s bothering your family, and even though on one level you are noseblind to it, on a deeper level you are painfully aware of it.)
💞I’m interested in having you BE PRESENT with your thoughts (pull them out of the hamper)
🌌CONTEXTUALIZE them (“oh yeah–these are from gym class last week”)
🌈DIVERSIFY them (“Good thing I have all these other shorts to choose from for class today.”)
📝And PRIORITIZE them (“I’m not gonna wear the smelly shorts today! Clean shorts are better for class.”)
When Carl Jung wrote, “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious,” he was talking about pulling your sh!t out of the hamper so that you can LOOK at it and STOP BEING CONTROLLED by it.
Now: chances are good…you’re not actually so noseblind to whatever you’re avoiding.
You’re super smart, and I bet YOU KNOW something is off. Something smells. (You’re struggling with a lot of different things, but you suspect they’re all related.)
What you don’t know is HOW FAR into your house that stink has permeated. (How many of your actions and decisions are being influenced by these painful thoughts? Spoiler: Lots.)
And you just can’t face the hamper. (It’s scary to think about unpacking your painful thoughts. And most of us have them very artfully defended, so that on the surface, they seem totally reasonable.)
ENTER ME.
Beloved Friend,
/// I am not afraid of your hamper. ///
I am not afraid of stinky shorts! I’m a farm girl, I have my own stinky shorts, and I’m no ingenue. I’m a mfing Life Coach Extraordinaire, and I love unpacking a hamper the way my dog Nora loves her kiddie pool.
The beautiful thing is: unpacking your stuff unleashes enormous reserves of psychic energy that you have been using to manage this smelly situation.
Here’s a sampling of some results my clients experienced, when they started unpacking that hamper:
- One client realized she needed a new job YESTERDAY and went right out and got one that paid a lot more money
- Another realized she needed a therapist, and with my help, navigated finding one
- Another had the tough convo with the boss that her current role wasn’t right for her, and pitched a new one
- Another completely upleveled her online business, launching a membership and massively increasing and stabilizing her revenue
- Another found the courage to move beyond jealousy and into a committed relationship with a beloved partner
- Another found the courage to talk to her husband about what she really wanted in the bedroom
- Another found the courage to set and maintain boundaries with her parents.
- Another learned to navigate the obstacle of her ADHD and start caring for herself–this client previously had not been to the dentist in 5 years, and she completely upgraded her health
- See pic below–another client changed her entire outlook on life!
If you’re ready to get unstuck, you need RADICAL REALIGNMENT, my 9-month coaching package.
Your first step is to book a free Discovery Call with me, right here at this link: https://emmamagentacoaching.com/coaching/
You can shift this sh!t. Promise. ♥️
This can be you.
Book a Free Discovery Call with me and let's talk!
