This season sucks.
You feel me?
I won’t bore you with my list of why I hate the holidays; I bet you have your own list.
But for those of you who hate the season, here’s a set of mindset shifts to alchemize your loathing.
Not with the intention of turning you into a happy-go-lucky holiday elf.
But so that you feel more ownership, empowerment, sovereignty around your experience of this time of year.
Here’s the first shift:
Instead of saying, “This time of year sucks,” shift into “I hate this time of year.” (I like to be a little extra when I express my distaste for something, so I think: “I loathe this time of year.”)
Why this shift? Because “This time of year sucks“ is passive language. You don’t actually have any control over the existence of “this time of year.“ When you shift from “This time of year sucks“ to “I hate this time of year,” you are claiming the experience of the sucking as your own. That’s powerful!
Next shift:
Acknowledge the reality of suffering behind “I hate this time of year.“ My guess is that you hate it because you struggle at this time! You don’t need to think about whether that struggle is valid or not. (Although, spoiler alert, it is!) You can just practice saying to yourself: “I struggle at this time of year.“
Okay, here’s the next shift.
If you’re reading this, and you enjoy my work, chances are you agree with the following statement:
People who are struggling need SUPPORT and RESOURCES, not judgment and derision.
So if you’re struggling…if you’re saying, “I struggle with this time of year”...the next thought can go like this:
“I need support at this time of year.”
Which, Beloved Friend, is The Truth. If you hate the holidays, you need extra support during them.
Which leads to this question:
“What support and resources can I line up for myself during this tough time of year?”
In general, as a Life Coach, I am CONSTANTLY asking my clients to consider variations of this question:
“What support and resources can I line up for myself?”
Who can you call?
What could you purchase?
What bullsh!t can you eliminate?
What good sh!t can you add in?
What treats can you give yourself? (H/T to my wonderful coach @nataliemiller for teaching me about treats)
Okay?
In general, what I am saying here is this: stop treating your likes and dislikes as meaningless or coincidental.
Start treating your likes and dislikes as precious, sacred guidance.
Your likes and dislikes, your PREFERENCES, are direct transmissions from the Spirit of Life within you, giving exact, explicit instructions about the care and feeding of your precious, exquisite self.
To recap the mental shifts:
“This season sucks.”
“I hate this time of year.”
“I struggle during this time of year.”
“I need support during this time of year.”
“The kind of support I need during this time of year is…”
And if that last question utterly baffles you, it’s time to call me. My specialty is helping people figure out what they want! Here’s the link to schedule a call.