I had to take a sick day on Tuesday.
I way, WAY overdid it with the errands and tasks the day before.
And I burned myself out.
Here’s what I had done on Monday:
I called my elderly cousin.
I made and ate breakfast.
I had a meeting with a colleague.
I walked the dog.
I had a coaching call.
I made and ate lunch.
I went to an exercise class.
I picked up herbs from my acupuncturist.
I picked up my grocery order.
I wrote a blog.
I had a nap.
I ate dinner.
I went to choir.
I walked the dog again.
Then I was all revved up from my busy day and did not go to bed on time.
Maybe this would be fine for another person.
But it was too much for me!
Tuesday I woke up and felt awful.
I’m usually pretty good at sticking to my VERY ELABORATE routine of things that keep me feeling my best. Here’s just a few things on the list:
- Managing my blood sugar condition by following a pattern of eat, move, rest.
- Around 10,000 steps a day
- Lots of dog and husband cuddles, hugging friends
- Regular phone calls with far away friends and family
- Evening bath with salts and oil
- No more than two meetings/calls a day
- Cooking meals from scratch
- A bunch of different vitamins and supplements; herbs from my herbalist
- Lifting heavy things once a week
- Skincare
- Flossing
- Singing
- Napping
The care and feeding of Emma takes a lot of work and time!
And it’s worth it–I know what works for me.
I’ve honed these self-care routines over about 5 years.
And a big part of creating them, and sticking to them mostly, is handling MY MINDSET around them.
As I lay in bed on Tuesday, I reflected on what’s different from what I would have done in the past.
Emma from 10 years ago HAD NO self-care routine and DID NOT KNOW she needed one. She felt like sh!t a lot of the time and couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her.
Emma from 5 years ago knew she needed to take better care of herself, but did not know how.
Emma from 2 years ago had an elaborate routine, but felt that it was somehow shameful. “Why do I need to do all this stuff? Most people do just fine on 7 hours of sleep–I need 8 hours plus a nap!”
Emma from last year had an elaborate routine, and felt no shame about it. BUT she did feel somehow ashamed when she fell off the routine.
Emma from this year has an elaborate routine, understands that it is a profound act of self-love, utterly rejects the capitalist lie that her work is related to her productivity, and ALSO understands that it is the nature of routines to break down!
Sometimes the breakdown means that your system needs a tweak.
Sometimes it means that you need to ditch the system.
Sometimes it means absolutely nothing–systems sometimes fail and that’s okay!
I’m a human, not a machine.
I am an organic organism, and I move in organic patterns.
I am gorgeous, delicious, precious, and those qualities need to be seen and cherished, not wished away!
/// Like, I’m a crisp, tender homemade profiterole, filled with whipped pastry cream, and drizzled with orange-infused bittersweet chocolate. Why TF would I want to be a mechanical pencil? ///
So here’s what I did on Tuesday, my burnout recovery day:
Woke up, felt like sh!t.
Told my husband directly, “Hey, I burned myself out yesterday and I feel terrible today. I feel grumpy, out of sorts, physically very uncomfortable, and like I need a lot of space. Okay?”
He got it–he’s been down this road before!--and asked me how he could support me in taking care of myself. “Don’t talk to me or look at me. And do the first two dog walks.”
Went back to bed.
Got up later, made breakfast for myself.
Checked my calendar–two appointments for the day. I rescheduled them.
Then I went back to bed again with what is for me a totally frivolous, fun read– “Iron Curtain: The Crushing of Eastern Europe 1944-1956”. (I love Cold War history.)
For lunch, I grabbed easy stuff from the fridge. Cheese sticks, crudites, crackers. In my burnt out state, I didn’t even want to have to make a sandwich.
After lunch, I had a hot bath with salts and oil.
In the afternoon, I laid on the floor in the living room on a heating pad and watched old movies.
I took my usual afternoon nap there–it was glorious bc I love sleeping on the floor.
By evening, I had rallied enough to cook dinner and walk the dog.
Next morning, I felt a lot better!
Here are some insights I have about this experience.
The reason why it only took me ONE DAY to recover from burnout is that I ONLY HAD ONE DAY TO RECOVER FROM. If you have amassed three years–or a lifetime–of burnout days, it will take you a lot longer to recover.
Burnout recovery needs to be utterly bespoke and personal. You may need more rest. You may need more movement. You may need to eat some snacks from the fridge. You may need to order a cheeseburger from Five Guys. Your idea of a “frivolous”, burnout-recovery activity will not be the same as mine–in fact, I hope you’re reading something more like Jackie Collins.
So much of burnout recovery is about MINDSET. If you take the premise that you are recovering so that you can return to productivity, YOU ARE ON THE WRONG BUS and you need to get off. Capitalist productivity culture was LITERALLY INVENTED to exploit people, to drain the last drop of labor from them before they died. And that mindset is incompatible with your organic gorgeousness and deliciousness. Instead, take the premise that you are recovering BECAUSE YOU ARE A PRECIOUS CHILD OF THE UNIVERSE. You are precious! You are intrinsically worthy of tender loving care. You naturally need rest, movement, affection, daydream time, tasty treats, adventures.
Honestly, there’s so much more I could say about this and it’s already kinda long.
So I’ll just close by saying this:
This burnout feeling…it’s not a glitch in your system. It’s not a personal failing. It is a DIRECT MESSAGE from LIFE HERSELF telling you that you need care!
If the idea of God works for you, think of it as a MESSAGE FROM GOD.
Okay? DM me if you’re caught in the weeds about any of this. And if you know you need more serious help, book a Discovery Call with me. So you can finally learn how to give yourself a break. <3
Love to you.