Here’s a surprising list of reasonable, but mostly useless things for ADHDers to try to fix. 👇
(I'm very tempted to put all of these in quotes, because these are the kind of useless things you find in internet searches and productivity handbooks for normies. But I shall restrain myself!)
- Time Management
- Impulsivity
- Procrastination
- Prioritization
- Distraction
- Lack of focus
- Organization
My friends, focusing on improving these things will get you precisely NOWHERE.
Like, have you ever read a list of "time management techniques" and felt like, "yeah, now that I know about the Pomodoro technique, all my problems are solved!”
What do the things on the list above have in common?
THEY'RE GENERAL.
As an ADHD coach, the first question I ask someone if they ask for help with "distraction” is:
"Tell me about a situation where you were recently distracted."
...or some variation.
IMMEDIATELY I want to know about SPECIFICS.
Another example:
"Lack of focus" is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot in ADHD circles and it's so completely unhelpful.
Bc every ADHDer I know is AMAZING at focusing. When it's a subject we're interested in, we can focus so hard that we forget to use the bathroom!
So again, right away I'd be asking questions like,
"When does this pop up for you?"
"Why is it a problem in that context?"
"What form does the lack of focus take?"
“What is it keeping you from doing?”
You see? right away I'm going to start leading you away from generalities, drilling drilling drilling down on specifics.
Procrastination, prioritization, organization...these are important executive function skills, that absolutely can be improved.
In fact, I’ve even offered a course to improve procrastination skills!
But the WAY they get improved—
the way those skills are acquired—
is by practicing them in the very specific circumstances where they're needed.
(Medication, by the way, can help with these things, but medication *will not teach you executive functioning skills.* That's why we say "pills don't teach skills.")
Let me give you an example of a more useful challenge to work on.
This is a comment I got from a client recently:
"I felt totally paralyzed and overwhelmed coming back to work after vacation.
I didn't even know where to start."
👆👆👆 Now THAT'S a solvable problem!!! 👆👆👆
That's a USEFUL thing to try to address.
Why? Bc it’s SPECIFIC.
It identifies a specific feeling: paralyzed and overwhelmed.
It identifies a specific time: after vacation.
It identifies a specific domain in this person’s life: work.
It even gives a sense of what outcome this person wants from coaching—
in the near term, she wants to know where to start.
Medium-term, she probably wants systems in her life that help her know what to focus on next regardless of circumstance.
And long-term, she could probably benefit from some pre-planning BEFORE she goes on vacation to avoid the horrible panicky feeling AFTER.
So here’s my big message for you today.
Don't waste your time trying to address general issues like "distraction." Get specific.
My friend, I’m very, very good at helping ADHD women like you sort out these issues.
Here we are, it’s September. And chances are good you’re feeling totally overwhelmed.
Believe me when I say, there will never be a “perfect time” to start working with a coach.
To change your life, you need to take the leap now.
Here’s how you do it: Book a Discovery Call with me.
I can’t wait to meet you!
Warmly,
Emma