Why aren’t you doing what you know you need to do?
For a lot of my clients, the short answer is “ADHD.“
And that is a great short answer to know, and to keep reminding yourself.
// SIDEBAR //
This may seem super-obvious, but I have had so many clients say to me, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me!“ when we talk about how hard it is to accomplish certain items on their to-do lists.
I’ve learned that it’s part of my job to remind them, “Sally. You have ADHD! You struggle with executive function.”
ADHD is weird that way. THE NATURE OF THE CONDITION (difficulty directing your focus) MAKES HARD TO PERCEIVE THE CONDITION (keep your ADHD in focus).
So “Executive functions are hard for me!” is an important thing to keep in mind. But we don’t stop there.
// END SIDEBAR //
So back to the original question – why aren’t you doing what you know you need to do?
Here are some possibilities based on conversations I’ve had with clients and other women ADHDers:
You f*%king hate what you have to do. It’s desperately boring, or totally unsuited to your skillset, or brings up traumatic prior experiences of being forced to do that thing. In other words, it costs you way too much dopamine that you don’t have.
You’re exhausted.
You don’t have the right physical environment to do the thing. Your desk/office/house/workspace is a mess. Or the lighting is really bad. Or there’s ambient noise (construction, traffic, other people talking) that makes it impossible.
Task initiation is really hard for you. Even if you like what you’re doing. Even if you’ve had enough sleep and you have a clean desk. It’s just hard. The only thing that seems to work for you is urgency.
You don’t have any systems. So you don’t actually remember that the thing needs to be done when you’re in the place and time to do the thing.
You remember that you have to do the thing, you’re in the right place and time to do it, but you can’t figure out how to approach it. It’s too big, or too confusing, or you don’t have any confidence that you could accomplish it.
You have too much to do and you’re overwhelmed. Should you really be doing that thing? Or should you be doing something else?
You don’t want to be doing the thing for some deeper reason, something beyond your ADHD that you’re not really aware of. Maybe it’s something you never should’ve agreed to do in the first place. Maybe you don’t think it’s OK for you to have boundaries and needs. You don’t think it’s OK to say no.
Do you see what I’m saying here? There are a million possible reasons for WHY you’re not doing the thing!
This is why ADHD coaching can be really useful.
The WHY is what we tease out during our conversations together. And the wonderful thing is, once you have the WHY, then you’ve got a wonderful, amazing, magical wand in your hands:
A clearly defined problem. 
A clearly defined problem is a wonderful thing because it is waaaay more solvable than a nebulous, clumped together, poorly defined problem.
Will working with me solve your ADHD?
Will it fix you?
Will it heal you?
No, it will not.
Your ADHD brain is not broken, diseased, or problematic. It’s not an enemy to overcome.
Rather, your ADHD is a part of your magic that must be reckoned with, if you’re going to live your dreams.
Coaching helps you reckon with this extremely important, beautiful, complicated, painful part of your magic.
If you work with me, we’re going to figure out what things you’re not doing, and why you’re not doing them.
We’re going to try on some solutions, we’re gonna practice them, we’re going to see if they work.
If they don’t work, we’re gonna discard them and try something else.
If they do work, we’re going to set up systems that make those solutions part of your regular life.
All along the way, we’ll keep our eyes on the North Star of your goals, dreams, and values.
It doesn’t happen with just a few sessions.
You’re gonna need to work with me for a few months.
At the end of the time, you won’t have a new brain.
But you will know yourself better.
Like yourself better.
You will be more capable of taking meaningful action.
You’ll be closer to your goals and dreams.
Ready?
Book a Discovery Call so that we can figure out whether I’m a good fit for you.
Love,
Emma