“I’m afraid that if I pursue this dream,I’ll cause harm,” says my client.
Beloved friend,no matter what you do in this life, you cause harm. Just by breathing. By existing. You’re causing harm.
You use up precious resources. You take up space and cost money. Your iphone, which you are probably using to read this message, was likely made in part by people in forced labor situations. “Forced labor” is a euphemism for slavery.
Live in an industrialized nation? You cause harm. Every minute your householdis using up global resources and polluting the air and water. Your taxes support a military-industrial complex that tortures people in far-off lands, and right at home. Your taxes support a government that has historically abused people, and is currently, right at this moment, abusing people. You may be one of the people it abuses.
Work for a corporation? Every corporation is different. But we live in a society that mostly lets corporations do what they want in pursuit of profit. Who knows what ethical violations your employer engages in? Who knows how they’re dodging taxes that could benefit the most vulnerable members of our society. Corporations cause harm. In working for a corporation, you contribute to that harm.
Raising kids? Wheeeewwww you are CAUSING. HARM. You feed them, you house and clothe them. You do your ABSOLUTE BEST. You do THE BEST YOU CAN. And yet, you will cause them harm. Every parent I know, knows this. We joke about the therapy bills because what else can we do but laugh?
I used to own a yoga studio. I loved that career until I didn’t. As a yoga studio owner, just like now as a Life Coach, my work literally changed people’s lives for the better. (That’s the kind of career I tend to choose.)A yoga studio is so beneficent, right? How could a yoga studio cause harm?
A MILLION WAYS.
For one thing, not everybody liked my classes. Sometimes I’d make mistakes. I asked a woman who was moving gingerlyif she was pregnant. I handed a sweaty guy a paper towel and made a hurtful joke about his sweatiness. Every once in a while I had to fire someone. Let me tell you something about firing people–they never forgive you. What about cultural appropriation in yoga? I tried my best not to be culturally appropriative. But I probably was. Before I knew better, I wore t-shirts with Hindu deities on them. This is just the stuff I KNOW about. In ONE of my careers! I can only guess that as a Life Coach, I also sometimes cause harm.
Beloved friend, come away from the fantasy that you can live in this world and not cause harm. You cannot.
No amount of tiptoeing, on your part, will prevent this. No matter how quietly you whisper. No matter how much you hide yourself.No matter who you appease,how well you mask, how delicately you tread!
In this life,
WE DO THE BEST WE CAN.
We try to cause as little harm as possible.
But if you shrink down your world, your life, your voice in an attempt to prevent some unforeseeable harm, we all lose.
I urge you—DO NOT disengage from this world, from your dreams, because you’re afraid to hurt somebody!
However great the harm that you are already Doing (and it is great)It is EVEN MORE HARMFUL to leave your truths unspokento leave your dreams unlivedto not even allow yourself to TRY.
You can do this.
Love you.
(PS Jeff Bezos, if you’re reading this, it doesn’t apply to you. Thanks.)
PPS: This kind of thinking– “I can’t pursue this dream because it might hurt somebody else”–is the kind of mental muck that I help my clients bring to the surface so they can clear it away. Intrigued by this? Let’s talk about it! Book a Discovery Call with me here.
Warmly,Emma