Fantasizing is political


My loves,

Please please please


I made a few posts last week about the value of saying what you want.

In my DMs and client calls, I had quite a few of you saying some version of, “yes but I don’t know what I want.”

I feel you! Not knowing what you want is very common.

How do you start to know what you want?


I love the slightly-unsavory implications of this word. A more sanitized version would be “visioning” or “conceptualizing”. But f*ck that—I think you’re going to have JUICIER THOUGHTS if you call it fantasizing.

Allow yourself to have juicy, uninhibited thoughts about EXACTLY the vibe at your next job.

EXACTLY how you want that team meeting to go.

EXACTLY the kind of relationship you want.

EXACTLY the type of agent you want to represent you.

EXACTLY the working hours in your new career.

No joke—I am writing this to you right now, in my treehouse office, with pleasure, at 11:00 am on a weekday…

…because three years ago I allowed myself to FANTASIZE about what kind of career I wanted. (I wanted to spend my best morning energy on writing.)

Another one of my clients has summer Fridays all year long…

…because when she started working with me I had her practice FANTASIZING about a job that required fewer hours and better boundaries around time off.

Now, some fine print: FANTASIZING IS A SKILL.

If you are not accustomed to fantasizing, you may need to practice. Give yourself permission to have a few false starts. You might have a few sessions where you stare into space and think, “why can’t I think of anything?”

Please know that one of the functions of patriarchy, whyte supremacy, heteronormativity, ableism is to INHIBIT the ability of marginalized communities to even IMAGINE something better.

You better believe that fantasizing is political. And it’s also effective.

Pick a quiet, private place.

Have some wine, or an edible, if that loosens you up.

Have a notebook handy.

Stare into space.

And let the magic happen.

Believe it or not, a big thing I help my clients with is fantasizing. Because a lot of us literally cannot allow ourselves to want what we truly want. I can help you with this!
Book a call with me so you can tell me all the things.


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